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ÀÛ¼ºÀÏ : 16-07-19 12:54
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 ±Û¾´ÀÌ : ¾È¼ö¿¬ (121.¢½.251.82)
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[Intro]
It is better to spend money on travel and vacation than save it for future use.

[Body 1]
TS: Travel allows people to relieve their stress.
SS: Stress is a major factor that keeps people from being healthy.

[Body 2]
TS: People can get various experiences while they are travelling.
SS: Various experiences enhance people's quality of life.


±ÛÀÚ¼ö: 151ÀÚ

¾È¼ö¿¬ 16-07-20 10:33
 121.¢½.251.82  
[Body 1]
 Travel allows people to relieve their stress. Stress is known to be a major factor that keeps people away from being healthy. By enjoying travel, people can be refreshed and their stress would be gone so that they can live healthy life. For example, when I was under a lot of stress during working, I was suffered from a severe depression. Therefore, I decided to go on a trip. By getting fresh air and seeing beautiful scenery, my depression was recovered. This example clearly shows that to invest money on travel is better than save it for future.
¾È¼ö¿¬ 16-07-20 10:41
 121.¢½.251.82  
Part-time job allows children to make wise  decisions. This is because, there would be many problems or conflicts while they are working on a part-time job. By going through these problems, children can make wise decisions. For example, when I was working in my mother's pharmacy, there was a conflict occurred between me and a customer. At the first time, it was difficult for me to deal with the conflict, however, it became easy after solving many problems. Now, I can make wise decisions very quickly. I can say that parents should encourage their children to take a part-time job.
 
 

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