couldn't 는 워드 카운트 x
could not

body 3에
This example clearly shows that movies and television offers young people
offers-->offer
수일치

Secondly, movies and television allow young people to gain background knowledge. There are lots of educational movies and TV programs which help young people to get a wide range of knowledge. For example, when I had an exam related to World War I in history class, I found a history documentary program on television dealing with World War I. I learned many facts about the topic that I couldn’t learn from the textbook. As a result, I got bonus marks on the exam. This example clearly shows that movies and television offer young people background knowledge.

majority of people tend to가 맞을 듯.

아닌 듯

a majority of people tends가 맞는듯

I started watching comedy movies for refreshing.
I started to watch comedy movies to be refreshed.

I found a history documentary program on television dealing with World War I.
I found a history documentary program on television that deals with World War I.

I couldn’t learn from the textbook.
couldn't -> could not

이렇게 수정하면 좋을 거 같아:)

This example clearly shows that movies and television offers young people.
This example clearly shows that movies and television offer young people.
무엇을 offer 한다는 거야?

맨마지막 문장 실수로 지우고 올림 gain background knowledge 를 offer하는거임

와 진주누나 완전 잘잡음.... 역시 E반 클라스ㅋㅋㅋ

고마워ㅋㅋ..

By and large, people have been debating the pros and cons of the statement that movies and television have negative effects on young people.
In reality, a majority of people tends to think that these media give young people negative impacts. However, I strongly believe that movies and
television actually have positive effects on young people for two reasons.

 First of all, movies and television allow young people to relieve stress. Stress is known to be a major factor which keeps people away from
being healthy. By watching enjoyable movies and TV shows, people can relieve their stress and get refreshed. For example, when I was in high school,
I was under a large amount of pressure which led me to serious depression. Since then, I started to watch comedy movies for refreshing.
Thanks to the movies, I laughed a lot and my depression was totally recovered. This example clearly shows that movies and television give positive impacts on young people.

 Secondly, movies and television allow young people to gain background knowledge. There are lots of educational movies and TV programs which help young people to
get a wide range of knowledge. For example, when I had an exam related to World War I in history class, I found a history documentary program on television that deals
 with World War I. I learned many facts about the topic that I could not learn from the textbook. As a result, I got bonus marks on the exam. This example clearly shows
that movies and television offers young people background knowledge.