watching movies and television are
watching movies and television is

just waste of time
just a waste of time

9번째 줄, or -> ,or (제안)

제안이라 써있는 것은 확실하지 않습니다. 고쳐준 것 중 틀린 게 있으면 알려주세요. ^^
Ctrl + F 를 쓰면 틀린 부분을 찾는 게 더 쉬워요.

오! 좋은 정보 고마워:)

Topic: movies and television have negative effects on young people

Intro: The debate has been sprung up among people worldwide whether movies and television have negative effects on young people or not. A majority of people thinks that movies and television have negative influences on young people because watching movies and television is just a waste of time for young people. However, I strongly believe that movies and television have positive effects on young people.

Body 1: First, young people can build up their knowledge through movies and television. Many people think all movies and television programs are useless. However, nowadays, there are lots of educational movies and television programs which young people can watch and learn. Young people can learn history deeply by watching historical movies or, they can build up their knowledge through receiving information about various aspects by watching documentary programs. For example, young people can watch a television program like National Geography and get to know information they did not know before.

Body 2: Moreover, young people can relieve their stress by watching movies and televisions. Nowadays, there are a number of fascinating movies and interesting programs which young people can easily enjoy. For example, my cousins watch hilarious movies when they feel stressful and gloomy. Thus, watching movies and television programs can turn up their emotion positively. Furthermore, young people can joyfully communicate with others because they can get common senses. The contents of movies and television programs are interesting subjects which lead young people to talk about in order to release stress.