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박지현 (59.♡.34.42)
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<Parents should encourage children to take a part-time jobs>
Intro: I strongly believe that parents should encourage children to take a part-time job.
Topic Sentence: Children become independent of their work.
Example Sentence: By taking a part- time job, children can practice for working oneself.
Topic Sentence: Children will have responsibility of their work and duty.
Example Sentence: Taking a part-time job led children to think taking part on the job is very important.
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